Just Us

Remember when it was just us ?

When you looked at me… were with me. . . when we’d go for a ride! The bathing, the grooming…or how you’d linger with me at feeding time just to be with me. . .

I remember the day I met you, and you brought me home, the excitement in your eyes, the hours spent in content silence, or you telling me all about your day. . . anything and everything. . . I loved it!
It was gradual. . . this change
You seemed further away. . .
I’d nudge you with my nose, but you were more concerned with that device in your hand, other things on your mind. . .
Your touch became brief, like a habit.
I missed you.
You fed me, yes.
But without your company. . . it became just ‘feeding time’. . .
I still run to you, when I hear you open the gate. . .hoping to see that smile reach your eyes as it used to. . .
Dance with me again,in the pasture. . . on my back!
Bury your face in my neck and talk to me…cry on me… hug me. Let me comfort you as you did me for so , so long.
As you did when it was just us.
No, you never starved me …
Always have provided….Food. Shelter. Water.
But YOUR warmth is gone. And I miss you.
I’m still here, I’m still waiting.
I admit. . . I hated that spray bottle. . .I still do ! And that tube of paste you told me ‘ It makes you feel better,love, I promise!’ . . You try it sometime, it’s bloody terrible!
But what I would not give to see you laugh while I dance away from it. . .
Just look at me once, again….like you did then.
Remember how the world faded away? You’d talk to me for hours. I was delighted to see you, feel you on my back. Stand next to you . Have you sit in the grass beside me.
The night I was sick, and you refused to leave my side. . . I have never forgotten.
You are ‘here’. . . but you are not .
It has been a long time since I won ribbons for you, I know.
I was so proud to do that, so excited to go! The hours you would spend grooming me the night before, I always knew when we were headed for a show, for fun!
I may have bucked sometimes …but it was out of delight.You’d used laugh about it. . .Did you change your mind? Was I wrong?The arch in my neck was natural, one of pride, to be with you.
It’s far too long since I felt you on my back, lovingly stroke my ears, my neck.
It’s emptier, without that.
Thank you for keeping me . . . I hear you talk of saving other horses …I am proud of you , I always have been.
The things I hear you say..horses unwanted, neglected, thrown away…. Terrifying thought.
I should not complain….but my heart hurts to not have your full attention, as I once did. Even when there were others around, though you rode other horses, I still felt so special! You took the time to make me feel special . . .
So thank you for keeping me here, at home. I only wish you’d wrap your arms around my neck…enjoy my company once again as I always have yours. .
I was never the only horse here, but when you hugged me, pet me, smiled .. . I felt as though I were the solely most loved horse in the world.

I have friends here, plenty. . . Thank you for that.
The blanket you bought me is warm.
The feed, the hay is plentiful.
The barn a welcome place from from the rain and cold.
But without you. . . it’s only routine.
I miss my friend, my human. . . The one who lit up when I nuzzled her face.
That called my name with such joy. . .
The one who was content to just sit with me. . .
You’re busy now, I know.
I still nicker to you… even when you do not listen…
What happened? I am still here. You see me , but do not look at me , not really.
You spray the mud from my legs when it is bad. . . Brush me from time to time. . .
While you talk on the phone and rush through your duties.
When did I, your friend, become a duty?

I am not asking to be your only horse… Or for all of your time. . .
I just long for the brief moments toegether to still mean as much to you as they do me. . .
If you no longer want me, I won’t understand… but I will accept. I have no choice…
Perhaps you can find another child. . .who will want just me. . . That I can make happy. I was lucky to enrich one life. . .But if you have moved on, maybe I could be shiny and new to someone else. . .
Please. . . remember when it was ‘ just us’. . .

I do.
I am still here.
I will wait. I love you . . . and I will wait.

~Your Old Horse

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